The Eye of the Beholder... What Do They See in You?

It's not fair, but it's life! No matter how expert you are. No matter your IQ, you are first judged by your appearance. The American Institute of Men's and Boy's Wear used the, "Dress Right. You Can't Afford Not To!" slogan which was brilliantly honest. We all wish it weren't true, but once you are labeled in any manner it's tough to impossible to remove. Funny, it seems true especially for bad labels, unfortunately you can more easily remove a positive label, with one false move, but that's another discussion. Even those down on their luck tend to judge others by appearance; distrusting someone "too well dressed". We've even coined words to describe someone. Ever heard the phrase, "he's a suit"?

Look, we all tend to like comfortable clothing and most of us seem more and more comfortable in jeans and a tee shirt (or blouse) and flip flops. I often hear statements like, "I've just got to be me". While I'm an advocate for being yourself, I'm more a champion of being the best you you can be. Today when so many are looking for jobs it amazes me to hear the argument, "they'll just have to take me as I am".

When I was in college I visited a local job center. I remember as I walked in the door, to the left was a full length mirror with the caption, "Would you hire you"? That simple message has stayed with me for over 15 years. They were stressing that we were selling ourselves. In business, almost any job is sales. No? Consider this. The CEO, office manager, assistant, or runner all represent the firm they work for and part of their job is to encourage potential clients to do business with the company or current clients to continue.

You might say, "but I don't work in front of the public". Fine, but do you talk to them by phone? Do you work with or talk to co-workers? The way we dress affects how we feel and that is reflected in how we speak. Just as a smile can affect the tone of our voice, the way we dress can litterally come through on the phone. If how we look affects those around us, then it doesn't much matter if we see the public daily or just make the occasional appearance to other staff members. Every impression matters.

The way you look affects how you think. Most any stage actor can tell you that although they rehearse for weeks before they go before an audience, once they dress in their full costume from makeup to shoes, it's easier to be their character. Take a good look at schools, top companies, churches and the military and you'll find dress codes. These aren't merely to control subordinates, but to instill pride, correct behavior and most importantly encourage better thinking. So consider carefully who you want to be and dress accordingly.

A golden nugget:

"Pay twice as much and buy half as many". Apply it to everything. When it comes to appearance, it's far more important to have quality over quantity. When you follow this advice, you'll find:

1. The clothes last twice as long and show their quality while they last.
2. What you buy will be in style longer. This is especially true for business attire.
3. You'll typically get better advice since those working with higher quality usually know their product better.

My wife's grandma used to always say, "Only buy quality. Cheap never lasts". Turns out it was sound advice. In the end looking neat and clean goes so far and costs so little in comparison. So "Dress Right. You Can't Afford Not To"!

Inspired by, The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz

You Are What You Think You Are

As a car salesman, part of Chris's daily routine is to spend two hours each morning talking to prospects to set up appointments. When he first started, he was quite nervous and his calls reflected it in his hesitant voice and unfocused conversation. He noted, however, that after the rousing sales meeting held each Monday, he had more confidence and was able to schedule far more appointments. The trouble was that that confidence quickly faded by Tuesday, let alone the rest of the week. Then he had an idea. Without telling a soul, he went off by himself each morning and gave himself a pep talk. He'd repeat how good of a sales person he was, how great the cars were and how much the people needed them. By the time he'd speak with the prospects on the phone, he knew he was doing them a favor. It payed off and be was able to successfully make those calls each day and feel he wanted to speak with every prospect.

Have you ever had to deliver a speech, maybe a simple toast, and have it totally flop? Can you recall the self talk you engaged in just minutes before the event? I'm guessing you were thinking about how nervous you were. You might have even been telling yourself not to mess it up.

Let me tell you about Oliver. He had a ten-minute presentation on being a leader to give. He was so nervous that after stumbling and stammering for about 5 minutes, he sat down defeated. The organizer of the training met with him the next day and gave him some advice which he followed to the letter. He went to a room by himself and talked to himself...a pep talk. He repeated for several minutes phrases such as, "I've got a message that people want to hear and I want to say". You could say a miracle took place. The difference was astounding! I see it every day. I know better and yet, I've done it myself. We all want to look good. Nobody wants to be the fool. So we worry ourselves right into defeat.

You are what you think your are...

Have you ever noticed when you feel good or are confident, you stand a little taller with your eyes a little brighter and your smile a little wider? When you nervous, your shoulders close in a little bit, you avoid other people's eyes or you tend to fidget? When you believe you have something important to say that someone else really wants or needs to hear, you may bend forward, look straight at them, or have more intensity in your voice. It's all how you think about yourself and your message.

I remember years ago trying to call prospects to list their homes for sale. After a few run ins with tough questions, I began to wonder what value I brought the prospective client. Quickly I had tremendous difficulty in making phone calls, let alone setting appointments. Believing I didn't have the value for my clients made it so. It took a lot of work to believe in what I was doing. I had to study to see the value of my service. Once I understood my value, I could use self talk to regain the confidence I needed to secure the trust of new clients. Today I know when I really believe in my message, that my audience wants to hear it and that they will have a little better life because of it, I become the best person to deliver that message.

Consider this:

Everything you are, your very demeanor, behavior and ultimately your success or failure is a projection of your thoughts.

Alert: Darkness and Despair or Light and Hope; Your Choice

With a heavy sigh, Kelly dropped the phone from ear to leg and let it barely hang from limp fingers as shoulders slumped back into six inches of engulfing chair cushion. Sure that life was over, the room seemed to darken around wide eyes and close in. There was no desire to face spouse or children. As comforting and supportive as they'd been they would be too disappointed now. Having sunk so far below the surface, it wasn't even in view -not even sure which way was up anymore. How could this have happened when just a short time ago, there had been such promise, such hope; now nothing but despair and humiliation!

Hi, I'm Kelly Strong. Kind of ironic, isn't it? The name, I mean. That was me just a few short months ago. You see, what I didn't know then was that even in those dark, heavy hours, I had the ability to pull myself from that abyss, cultivate the light within me by my creator and create a brighter today. The seed was inside me, between my ears; thought.

Sadly, I had constructed that moment one small, but powerful thought at a time. I had done it by the mismanagement of my thoughts. Shortly after that experience, I learned to govern my mind with intelligence and work my thoughts to a fruitful end. A whole new world full of hope and possibilities came to view as I broke the surface into the sunlight.

What got me to that state didn't change over night, but with practice actions followed and with every step, hope strengthened and confidence grew. I discovered that as the lord of my own thoughts, no matter my situation, I am the creator of my destiny. I can foolishly govern my thoughts and experience degradation and despair or wisely administer the design of a worthwhile and fulfilling dream.

James Allen in, As a Man Thinketh says, "Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armoury of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace." He adds that with the proper application of the principles of thought, we either ascend to great heights or by abuse and wrong application, we descend to hopelessness. All the degrees of character are found between those two extremes. Most importantly, we are the maker and master.

Struggles seem to come at various unexpected times in our lives. We can't predict their appearance, but we can choose how we handle them. Steven Covey proposes we take a moment between the event and our reaction to purposefully create our response. Not only does this suggest a wise course of action, it also establishes our ability to choose to make a difference.

"It is often in the trial of adversity that we learn those most critical lessons that form our character and shape our destiny.", Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Beware the Malnourished Mind

Today I posted on Facebook, "Thom Neil thinks a mind that only feeds on itself soon becomes malnourished". One comment was, "Hum...OK. So when I'm told "gee, you really like to pick everyone's brains" it's a good thing? ..."

At our local office, we have a weekly study where we are discussing the principles of successful professionals. In that weekly gathering, we often hear someone say something along the lines of, "Wow, that makes me think of thus and such", or "What do you think would happen if...". The best ideas for the participants businesses seem to come from the stimulating principles or conversation. These are seasoned professionals gaining their best ideas from the inspiration of good thinking.

I'm what you could call a seminar junkie. I've been to hundreds on numerous topics and the best I've been to are the ones that get me thinking. Sometimes I'm not even getting ideas on the topic the speaker has chosen. Recently I attended an evening with the National Speakers Association where the presenter demonstrated various ideas for story telling, but the most profound thing I took from that meeting was how I could tell a story because I've been telling them in theaters for years as I've acted them out.

One young salesman observed several changes in the way his company was being run after his manager had attended a week-long sales management school. The frequency of sales meetings, changes to the compensation plan, newly designed business cards and stationary were among the improvements yet none of these techniques had been specifically suggested in the school.

There are many ways to stimulate your mind, but here are a few you might try (and with any luck this will stimulate even better ideas for you to try).

• Join and meet regularly with an association of professionals in your chosen occupation. Get around other success oriented people, rub shoulders (and minds) with them. Hopefully you'll start saying things like, "You know, during that meeting the other day, I got to thinking...".

• Join an organization or get your own group together of forward thinkers outside of your profession. Start a Mastermind. Being around people who have different business interests helps you see the big picture and gets you thinking outside the proverbial box.

• Find a friend or family member you can just bounce ideas off. You're bound to discover new insights that could change your life, the lives of those in your community or even the world.
  

I've read that principles give us the light to illuminate the paths before us. Notice it didn't say that principles were the exact steps to take, but the light to illuminate. So light your path with inspiration by stimulating your mind. You may just be amazed at the incredible future you see in front of you.

Caution: The Radio Waves Your Receiving Could Be Dangerous!

There had been a lot of buz about "The Secret" or "The Law of Attraction" in the last couple of years. Many of my friends have touted it's truths, others, are not just skeptical, but out right refute the premise. Some have even gone so far as to say that it's the devil's work. I however, have to agree with the Law of Attraction, and it's like anything else, it must be understood for what it is.
To suggest that all I have to do is imagine and believe something I want into existence, is going a bit far. I like how Leslie Householder described it. Think of a radio. When turned on would you say that it attracted the radio waves, sucking them into the room and into it's case? No, certainly not. The radio merely tuned into the radio waves that were there all along. When searching for the salt in your pantry, if you choose to use the law of attraction to find it after 10 frustrating minutes, it doesn't simply appear (though, granted it may seem to), it was there all along, but you were in the frame of mind to see it.
May I suggest it is the same with most anything we want; success, money, love, a vacation. When we have our vision of what we want clearly in our mind, with full expectation that we will get it, we open our eyes to what is around us. We open our minds to the inspiration for the correct action to take to achieve that desire.
Have you ever noticed it works in reverse as well? If we dwell on the negative, we typically get it. Sometimes it's the worry that defeats us. If I'm afraid of making my rent or mortgage payment next month, if I'm worrying and dwelling on that fear, I'm not open to the options that could change my situation and afford me the ability to pay it and perhaps never have that concern again.
A good friend of mine shared a great story that illustrates this beautifully. When she worked at a previous agency, her broker would introduce her as the woman who handled all the difficult cases. Sure, her boss was just trying to show how good she was at her job and the confidence one could have in here abilities, but how destructive! She said all her transactions were nightmares. When she saw this coloration, she emphatically requested to never be introduced that way again. It worked. She started having great clients with few troubles. Now, did the mere change in wording cause the right people to suddenly appear for her to work with? How absurd! Of course not! What it did, however, was to allow my friend to see the opportunities around her to work with great people and when challenges did arise, they were no longer nightmares, but simply challenges to overcome. With that attitude she had the presence of mind to see the solutions.
So perhaps we should say that rather than we attracting something to us, we are attracted (tuned in) to what we want.

Capacity is a State of Mind

A young executive was called in to his department head’s office. “Jim, you know we’re short now that Henry left on such short notice. I’ve already spoken with the other two in your department and they feel they already swamped and just can’t take on anymore responsibility. I’m asking you to do what you can and do both jobs for now until we can hire someone new”. “Sir, I’ll do my best”.

Later that evening with the office quiet and his own work finished, Jim when to work on his idea bucket. He determined to find more time. He felt like a three legged squirrel in a nut race. He was just as busy as his colleagues who had wiggled out of the extra work, but having learned that it never pays to turn down what could be an opportunity, he had agreed to this and was determined to squeeze the time out of his already hectic workday. To his surprise, he came up with several time-saving ideas. For example, he could work out an arrangement for his assistant to route all his routine calls to a certain hour of the day. He would check his email, snail mail and voice messages at appointed times as well. He cut his usual conference periods from 15 to 10 minutes. He later discovered that his assistant was willing to take on several time consuming details for him.

Jim was shocked that he had allowed himself to become so inefficient! He was successful at not just squeezing in the extra work, but found that he was sending out twice as many letters, taking 50 percent more phone calls, attending half again the number of meetings in just a week’s time and all without added pressure.

After just a few weeks, he met with his department head again who confessed he could not find anyone satisfactory and had already gained approval to combine Jim’s job with the other and give him a substantial raise in pay.

Are you ready to give yourself a raise in pay? Or do you just want to ease your stress levels? You can do more than you realize. How much you can do is largely determined by how much you think you can do. If you take the time to really look at your situation and believe you can do more. You will unlock doors, open windows and see a beautiful vista of new ideas to improve your efficiency and add joy to your life.

“Capacity is indeed a state of mind”, David Schwartz.

Story adapted from David Schwartz’s The Magic of Thinking Big

Solve Absolutely Everything You Currently Face

There are numerous well known happenings in the year 1847 among them Samuel Colt sells his first revolver pistol to the U.S government, The Treaty of Cahuenga ends the fighting in the Mexican-American War in California and The United States issues its first postage stamps. OK, so maybe they aren’t that well known. The year 1847 is known where I live here in Utah as the beginnings of our state. It’s the year the Mormon Pioneers entered the Salt Lake Valley and started to settle the then, barren wilderness. There was a fascinating real estate transaction that took place near Sacramento, CA that year. A rancher, with the gold gleam in his eye, sold his farm and scurried south to chase rumors of gold.

The buyer built a mill on the stream that ran through the land. In January the following year his daughter played with some sand that she took from the race way. As she sifted the sand through her fingers by the fire, a visitor noticed a shimmer and upon investigation gold was discovered. Since that time, it’s been estimated that Sutter’s Mill has produced over $38 million.

How often do we look for our “gold” off on some new endeavor. Or maybe we complain that we can’t get ours because we have the wrong job, or unlucky, or don’t know the ‘right’ people? Maybe we lament that we don’t have the education, the resources or the brains or you think “you need money to make money”. Notice that it wasn’t the cunning of Colonel Sutter that resulted in his owning one of the most profitable gold mines in the world. He wasn’t even looking for gold and had no idea he’d be blessed with that bounty.

Consider this analogy that was shared with me by my good friend Dr. Paul Jenkins: Think about the acorn. It doesn’t become a great oak by running around searching for leaf molecules and bark molecules to build the tree. “It simply exists right where it is and uses the resources immediately available to it.” Dr. Paul says, “The resources you need to solve absolutely everything you currently face are right there around you.” Just in case you didn’t get that: the resources you need to solve absolutely everything you currently face are right there around you. Dr. Paul continues, “Start with what you know to do and then the next steps will become evident.”

Now, look around you. See the people. Talk to them about your dreams and ideas. You never know who will have just the right connection to help you take that next step.

True greatness is starting where you are, using what you have, doing what you can. ~Arthur Ashe